Play About the Baby
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In this black comedy a young couple who are madly in love with each other, have a child - the perfect family - that is, until an older couple steal the baby. Through a series of mind games and manipulations, they call into question both couples' sense of reality and fiction, joy and sorrow.
all say that. WOMAN (Attorney; to GIRL) Did you not fake pregnancy to … to get him for yourself? GIRL No! No! I didn’t! We married and then I got pregnant! WOMAN (Out) They all say that. BOY (Quietly) She was a virgin. MAN (Tiny pause; to BOY) When? BOY When I married her; when I met her. MAN Which came first? BOY (Bewildered) What?! WOMAN (Helping) He means: Did you marry her and then meet her, or … BOY NO! MAN No, you did not marry her before you met her, or you did not
BOY You’ll love it. (Mock tone again) You are my goal; you are my destination. (Normal tone again) C’mon, girl, let’s go! GIRL (Allowing herself to be dragged off) Not in front of the baby; whatever it is, not in front of the baby. BOY (Slightly annoyed, as they exit) Okay; okay. (After BOY and GIRL exit, MAN enters from right, playing blind.) MAN (To the audience, but not looking at it, of course, and not facing it.) The chairs should be right ahead of me … right … here! (Wrong) No.
Further? (Bumps against stage-right chair) Ow! Yes; there it is. (Opens eyes, turns to face audience) Did she give you a good time? Spin a splendid yarn? Yes? Good. She’s good at that; she’s very good at that. Have you ever done this?—pretended to be blind? I don’t mean to offend those of you in the audience who are blind—physically blind, that is—though there are seldom many of you at plays—blind; deaf, yes; blind, seldom; which surprises me, since most good plays come at you “by the ear,” so to
you,” he called to me from his window as I flounced from the building. “I’ll kill myself!” “Hanh!” I said, and turned on my heel and … vanished into the mist, or whatever. And of course he did: kill himself, that is. He hanged himself in his atelier, from a rafter. (Pause) And how does all that strike you? How and where does all that grab you? MAN (Shakes his head; smiles, applauds) Very good! Really, very good! (Out) Wasn’t that good? Didn’t she do that well? Come on, give her a hand!
Yes. GIRL (Suspicious) Where is she? Where’s she gone!? (WOMAN reenters, from stage right, very casually, an “O.K.” finger gesture to MAN, a broad wink to him.) Oh, there she is. MAN (To BOY) We are both here; yes. BOY (Level) Why? MAN Hm? BOY (Still level, if harder) Why are you here? What do you want? MAN (Cheerless smile) What do we want. Well, it’s really very simple. We’ve come to take the baby. (Silence) BOY What do you mean!? MAN (Flat) We’ve come to take the baby.