Succeeding When You're Supposed to Fail: The 6 Enduring Principles of High Achievement
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
IN COUNTLESS STUDIES, PSYCHOLOGISTS HAVE DISCOVERED A SURPRISING FACT:
For decades they assumed that people who face adversity—a difficult childhood, career turbulence, sudden bouts of bad luck—will succumb to their circumstances. Yet over and over again they found a significant percentage are able to overcome their life circumstances and achieve spectacular success.
How is it that individuals who are not “supposed” to succeed manage to overcome the odds? Are there certain traits that such people have in common? Can the rest of us learn from their success and apply it to our own lives?
In Succeeding When You’re Supposed to Fail, Rom Brafman, psychologist and coauthor of the bestselling book Sway, set out to answer these questions. In a riveting narrative that interweaves compelling stories from education, the military, and business and a wide range of groundbreaking new research, Brafman identifies the six hidden drivers behind unlikely success. Among them:
•The critical importance of the Limelight Effect—our ability to redirect the focus of our lives to the result of our own efforts, as opposed to external forces
•The value of a satellite in our lives—the remarkable way in which a consistent ally who accepts us unconditionally while still challenging us to be our best can make a huge difference
•The power of temperament—people who are able to tunnel through life’s obstacles have a surprisingly mild disposition; they don’t allow the bumps in the road to unsettle them
By understanding and incorporating these strat-egies in our own lives, Brafman argues, we can all be better prepared to overcome the inevitable obstacles we face, from setbacks at work to chall-enges in our personal lives.
follow-through—is the root cause of George’s misery: If it hadn’t been for the pact, he would’ve never pursued his current relationship. If it hadn’t been for the pact, he wouldn’t be stuck now with a fiancée he didn’t truly want to marry. Never mind that no one put a gun to George’s head or that he never took responsibility for his role in the “pact” or that he failed to seriously consider the options he had to extricate himself from the situation. George points his limelight outwardly almost
Regardless of gender and cultural background, the researchers found, meaning in life influences one’s risk of developing Alzheimer’s across the board. Even when the team controlled for other possible influences, such as “depressive symptoms, neuroticism, social network size, and number of chronic medical conditions,” the connection between Alzheimer’s and degree of meaning remained strong. An equally fascinating part of the results is what happened to the majority of the participants who did not
nurse—versus her dream of becoming an actress, Jones didn’t have to think twice about it. She enrolled in the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and convinced her parents to cover a year’s tuition—no small sum. It required her mother to take out a loan on her life insurance plan and her father to cash in his savings account. With so much of the family’s resources invested in her education, Jones put everything she had into her schooling. And at the end of her first year of studies, the president
uses humor, the other one is more likely to join along and use humor as well. There is something infectious about humor that draws out levity in others. Humor not only eases tensions during difficult discussions but helps to forge a closer connection with the other person. When the other party senses that we’re open to humor, he or she reciprocates in kind; defenses drop away, and the entire tone of the conversation shifts. And that’s exactly what happened with the “conflict resolution” couples.
are not popular or those who are held in high regard? The second question involves the “why” behind aggressive humor. Why do highly regarded professionals resort to teasing putdowns of one another? What purpose does this type of humor serve? The most important question is about the “how.” How can edgy humor be helpful when dealing with situations of adversity? The trick to a successful put-down (besides showing how quick and witty you can be) is to pick on someone you and the group truly like.