Fifty Shades Lighter: A (very) Critical Reader's Guide to "Fifty Shades Darker"
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
“I like to whip little brown-haired girls like you because you look like my birth mother... marry me.”
When Fifty Shades of Grey became the unexpected hit of the season, a sequel was almost as inevitable as the collapse of the property market. Unfortunately, the last time we saw Ana and Christian, he was hitting her with a belt. So, how do you go about transforming a man who beats his girlfriend until she sobs with pain into an authentic romantic hero?
Fifty Shades Lighter – the sequel to Lighter Shades of Grey, based on the hit viral blog entry - is a chapter-by-chapter dissection of Fifty Shades Darker, cataloguing unusual leaps of logic, surprising deductions, exciting exchanges of dialogue, opportunities for impromptu musical numbers and – of course – all the ways in which Christian remains just as big a horror-show as he was before.
It also provides detailed textual statistics, including how many times Ana says “Oh my”, how often Ana blushes, flushes or stares at her fingers, how many red-flag abusive behaviours Christian exhibits and a detailed analysis of the exciting existences of Ana’s Subconscious and Ana’s Inner Goddess.
While Fifty Shades Lighter is a comic look at one woman’s quest to turn a violent control-freak into a romantic hero, the rather less funny truth is that two British women a week die at the hands of violent partners. For this reason, 50% of author royalties from “Fifty Shades Lighter” will be donated to Women’s Aid.
And while you’re at it, I’d also be interested in your views on how your need for Ana to be “safe” squares with your incredibly bad habit of letting her unfasten her seatbelt, climb into your lap and then fall asleep there. Photo: Tracy_N_Brandon [Flickr] Oh, well that makes everything okay, then “…what kind of responsible business executive makes decisions based on who he is currently fucking?”… …“Firstly, I haven’t fucked you for a while – a long while, it feels – and second, I wanted to
More on the subject of Ana’s approach to sexual health Dr. Greene launches into full disclosure mode about side effects [of long-lasting hormonal contraception], and I sit paralyzed with relief, not listening to a word. I think I’d tolerate any number of strange women standing at the end of my bed rather than confess to Christian that I might be pregnant. (p191) Okay, Ana, Unless she’s planning on standing there every moment of the day and night, thus putting both of you right off the
his true colours by beating Ana black and blue with the business end of his belt; and Ana had a much-needed moment of clarity, and left him. Admittedly, we last saw Ana sobbing on her bed and hugging a balloon shaped like a helicopter, which did sort of suggest she wasn’t 100% satisfied with her decision. But I was quite happy to project a future where Ana got together with José, or Ethan, or Kate, or pretty much anyone other than Christian really, and had a sane, joyous relationship that they
even in proportion to her body, i.e. incredibly tiny). However, since she exhibits a great deal of sporting prowess (see “Special Skills”, below) it seems reasonable to assume she is relatively young and extremely physically fit. Wardrobe Ana’s Inner Goddess has two basic styles of dress - Athlete and Slut. In her Athlete wardrobe she has a tutu, a Cheerleader outfit (complete with pom-poms), a leotard and a pair of ice-skates. In her Slut wardrobe, she has a pink feather boa, a pair of
Ana, you’re repeating yourself again. This chapter already has enough musical numbers. Things that do not need explaining Jack has [an iPad] at the office, so I know how they work. (p40) E L James, pre-verbal children can figure out how to work iPads. You really don’t need to waste a sentence assuring us that your heroine has been exposed to the right educational experiences to enable her to figure out the mysterious wonders of the capacitive screen. Ana is impressed with Christian’s gift I