Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Falling in Love is the first book to unlock the mysteries of how and why we fall in love. Renowned psychologist Ayala Pines shows us why we fall for the people we do, and argues convincingly that we love neither by chance nor by accident. She offers sound advice for making the right choices when it comes to this complicated emotion. Packed with helpful suggestions for those seeking love and those already in it, this book is about love's many puzzles.
The second edition furthers the work of the popular and successful first edition. With expanded research, theory, and practice, this book once again provides one of a kind understandings of the experience of love. The new edition offers updated references to recent research, new chapter exercises, and "case examples" of romantic stories to begin each chapter.
he was reluctant to take a step that might put his family in jeopardy. His wife, Annie, was no help. She was out most evenings and was cold and distant when he tried to talk to her. Annie had been cold and distant for a long time, and he kept wondering why she insisted on staying married to him when it was so clear that she had neither love nor respect for him. Yet, when an extramarital affair she had was discovered a year before and he suggested a divorce, she insisted that she loved him and did
love, chances are that at the top of your list you also would have mentioned the charming, pleasant, or interesting traits that captured your heart. It is also likely that you would have mentioned your beloved’s physical appearance, but as secondary in importance (especially if you are a woman). But, is physical appearance really less important than character? And, are women really less influenced by it? Or do people (especially women) tend to underreport the impact of physical appearance on
FALLING IN LOVE was going to go out with a man who looked like that.” Beauty may be skin deep, but the role it plays as an initial screen gives it enormous power in romantic relationships. Through this attractiveness screen, many a person who might have made a wonderful lover and an ideal spouse is discarded. The reason for our prejudice against unattractive people is, at least in part, the result of a connection we make, whether consciously or unconsciously, between beauty and love. BEAUTY AND
feminine are characteristic of the society and specific subculture in which they live. What Function, If Any, Do Stereotypes Serve? The answer to the question of what function, if any, do stereotypes serve seems clear: They help us process social information faster. Because we cannot possibly process the endless amount of information we absorb through our senses, we organize that information into cognitive categories or schemas.42 We categorize people, including ourselves, according to different
carried the major burden of the household finances on her shoulders, often lost her temper. She “almost always had a good reason,” but still felt terrible afterward and would talk about it at great length with Jill. Because of their financial difficulties, Jill and her parents lived in a one-bedroom apartment, enclosed in their own little world. The most traumatic experience of Jill’s childhood was a terrible fear of abandonment she felt when she was about 4 years old. Jill and her parents drove