Ayoade on Ayoade: A Cinematic Odyssey
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Only Ayoade can appreciate Ayoade's unique methodology. Only Ayoade can recognize Ayoade's talent. Only Ayoade can withstand Ayoade's peculiar scent. Only Ayoade can truly get inside Ayoade.
Ayoade on Ayoade captures the director in his own words: pompous, vain, angry, and very, very funny.
like to span the totality of humanity. I’m a spanner of totality. Or a total spanner? After this last text, admittedly sent in anger at how laboured the set-up was, there is a long period without communication. Then, out of the blue … Sorry. Reception in and out. Yes – ‘total spanner’ is a good way of putting it. Shall we meet? I’d like to wrap this up. Cut to … * Which is similar to the sky not screaming at all. † Is he therefore saying he’s always asleep? He can certainly engender
complex, and one only an actress of your considerable gifts could handle. By the way, what weight are you at the moment? Because I know you tend to fluctuate. I only ask because we’ve already made the suit to fit Barbara Windsor, but to be honest I’m glad she was double-booked, and you really weren’t our ‘twelfth choice’ – we just didn’t think of you straight away. But now that we have thought of you, you’re our absolute first and only choice, unless you’re busy or turn it down or cost too much.
the important thing is to plant the seed …’ INT. THE SAME BATHROOM – THE PRESENT I wake up in a dry bath. Ayoade is still here, perched on the toilet, like a bird of prey. All my life I’d waited for this.* Finalement, our colloquium could commence. Our Ayoadium. My first question had to be perfect, teasing: confident like a courtesan’s canoodle; cryptic like the caressing breeze of an extractor fan; daring like the delicious, voluptuous melt of a Quaver. I stilled my trembling lips. I
JULIAN What did you say? WOMAN My mother shrank down to nothing. BIG JULIAN What did she say? WOMAN What? BIG JULIAN Did she say anything about her shrinking? WOMAN I don’t think so. BIG JULIAN Just kept it to herself. Wouldn’t be drawn. (Beat.) I have a picture of my tiny butler. But I probably left it next to the one of my house. WOMAN Maybe another time … BIG JULIAN I hope I didn’t burn it. (Beat.) My tiny butler was killed just up by that road. BIG JULIAN motions
process (op. cit.). Inexplicable impurity? Or a metaphor for Ayoade himself: one foot in the past, one foot in Martin Scorsese? Ayoade on Ayoade would not have been possible without the kind assistance of Ayoade. It was edited down from over one thousand hours of audio recordings to a more manageable two hours. This was achieved by simply discarding all but two of the tapes. This book is a transcript of those two remaining tapes. Index achievements, reflecting on, 1, 2 actors, living, 1