A History of Weapons: Crossbows, Caltrops, Catapults & Lots of Other Things that Can Seriously Mess You Up
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
One day a prehistoric guy picked up a rock and threw it at something. And the history of weapons began. Comedy writer and weapon nerd John O'Bryan relays the freaky highlights of man's centuries-old obsession with weaponry. He hilariously explains the mace, the morning star, and the man catcher, while conveying factual information about each weapon: its history, uses, and badass potential. Flipping through history's highlights, readers will learn about Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, and the "peaceful" Shaolin monks. This ultimate compendium of awesome weapons delivers all the surprisingly true details sure to impress anybody who's ever made a gun with their fingers and said, "PEW-PEW-PEW!"
Then they would go home and secretly cry to their wives/beards about how they almost got killed. Ah, the valor of war! EASE OF USE: USED BY: Ancient Greek hoplites FAMOUS VICTIMS: The Persians at the Battle of Thermopylae PRECURSOR TO: Sarissa (see page 59), various polearms USED WITH: Aspis; hot, sweaty man-physique SARISSA Philip II, better known as Alexander the Great’s father, must have had some serious issues with penis size. Under his rule, the Greeks began to phase out the dory
TO: Signal troops, deflect arrows MADE FAMOUS BY: Samurai; that chick from Mortal Kombat; the Kyoshi warriors from Avatar: The Last Airbender ADVANTAGES: Secret James Bond–style sneak attack! Can save your life in a pinch. DISADVANTAGES: Won’t penetrate armor; obvious limitations against hardcore weapons; makes you look like a big lady KAKUTE Believe it or not, sometimes a samurai doesn’t want to kill someone. Sometimes a quick, sharp, stabbing sensation in the pressure points is all that
a group of ascetics who practiced a mystical form of Islam called Sufism. They eschewed all luxuries, surviving entirely on alms and their connection with God, sort of like that guy Craig who sleeps on your couch for a month and never looks for a job. They were also forbidden to carry arms. This was problematic for them, especially since they had to sleep on the street. So like the Shaolin monks before them, the fakirs started to compromise their religious morals and look for ways to circumvent
You could even use it for more reasonable things, like skinning and butchering animals. But this knife is most renowned for its use in fights, like the one involving its namesake Jim Bowie. Bowie was involved in a multi-person duel on a sandbar near Natchez, Mississippi. Though he was shot, stabbed, and beaten to within a breath of Hades, Bowie eventually won the duel with his large butcher knife. From this point on, any large American combat knife was referred to as a Bowie knife, especially the
lantern shield. So if you’re looking for A History of Armor, you’ll have to look elsewhere. You will also notice that this book ends around the time of the Spanish-American War. There are two reasons for this: (1) I had to stop somewhere. And since every war of the 1900s has already been covered to death by Steven Spielberg and Oliver Stone, what more can I really add anyway? (2) The point of this book is to have fun engaging your inner geek, not to make light of someone’s tragedy. So I pussed